Hi! My Name is Kelsey and I am Single.

Yes, its true. I have managed to grow up in a Christian conservative household in West Michigan, attend Christian schools, go to every camp under the sun, attend a solid Bible college, and still be single at 28 years old and 340 days. Gasp. Scream. I know it's quite earth shattering. It's a tough feat to accomplish, but yet I have conquered it all the while dating numerous men that all had potential of a happily ever after. Ok all might be an exaggeration as I'm sure my parents would be delighted to know that I once dated a man that I had the courage to ask "Are you gay?" Its in those moments that you wish your filter would kick in especially since you are snuggling with that said man who just had you talk to his mom on the phone and you've only known each other for a grand total of 40 some odd hours. In case you are dying to know, he quickly said no and soon had to go do something really important. Sure. I can't imagine why.

I don't claim to be a wiz on dating (clearly), but I sure have learned a thing or two along my dating journey thus far. It's a journey that began with Jeff  when I was in the 7th grade. Yes, I was a late bloomer in the boyfriend/girlfriend world or at least my friends thought so. By this time, they all had the honor of being a girlfriend to a boy in puberty (talk about hotties) and felt that I was missing out. I mean who doesn't want to hang out with a boy who smells (their parents must walk around with face masks), thinks farting noises are the best thing especially while taking a math test in Mr. Volkers 3rd period class (hypothetically speaking of course)  and whose clothes don't fit because milk truly does the body good?  My friends convened and thought I would be the perfect match for Jeff. A boy in the 6th grade who just happens to be one of two people I have ever met that rocked a rat's tail. Yes, a rat's tail. Basically the most hideous hair style ever created by man.  Ever. Despite Jeff's hairstyle choice, he had a few things going for him. 1-He lived 3 blocks from my house so logistically we could hang out without our parents trucking us around town. 2- he is a Christian (gotta have faith especially if you are going to date a preacher's daughter), despite his last name sounding like the place you never want to go. 3-He is good friends with my friend Jill's brother. Who needs eharmony and match.com to hook you up when clearly its all about who you know. 

Of course our relationship began via a written note (my friends told me what to write since I was clearly a novice). Surprisingly, Jeff checked off that he liked me and thus forth our 8 day relationship began. It was an eventful time that mostly consisted of us saying hello to each other in the morning and good-bye at the end of the day. We never fought because clearly we valued communication. The highlight of our relationship was when he gave me a dandelion after lunch recess. My first flower from a boyfriend. Yes, I know its technically a weed, but hey at least it had a stem and it bloomed. Good enough for me. 

Call me high maintenance, but our relationship just wasn't doing anything for me so I decided to call it quits on the 8th day. I did it very maturely and wrote him a note. Apparently, our morning and afternoon greetings meant more to him than what I realized because a few weeks later he gave me a note exclaiming that he listened to N'Sync's song "I Want You Back" over and over and it dawned on him that he wanted me back in his life. Wow. Talk about pulling the heart strings. Of course I responded and respected his heart via a note and said that its not you, but me and left it at that. I may or may not have used that line more than once in life. And I know I am not the only one. 

I learned a few things from my first boyfriend Jeff on life and relationships:

-If you see a man with a rat's tail, cut it off immediately so that he won't die alone.

-Let the man pursue you.

-Don't keep a dead dandelion. It's dead. It smells. It won't hurt the feelings of your boyfriend if you throw it away. He doesn't care. For goodness sake's its a weed.

-You are worth fighting for.